Two hints lust, then I mix some charm with a dash of wits.

ii haaaaaaate being 14. maybe its just me, but it seems impossible to tell who your real friends are. someone is always talking shit about you, even if you think theyre your friends. everyone is so fucking 2 faced. all the guys are horny for all the girls and all the girls are only horny for about 1/4 of the guys. and it leads to so much drama. and after all the drama you've got to deal with school work. and of course your parents are like "you have to get strait A's and get into a good college and be responsible" and all you want to do is have fun. oh and then theres that whole finding yourself thing. its so impossible because you want to be yourself but you want people to like you. and then you here what people think of you and your like "no way, thats not who i am" and you try to change your reputaion and nothing changes or everything gets all messed up. it just sucks so much. and its so hard. because no matter what you do, someone is going to be unhappy with you. you've just got to stop caring or something. and thats practically impossible because when you stop caring you loose everything you tried to keep by stopping to care. and then when you try to find yourself you start being introvereted and you loose people or you feel like your loosing people (i feel like im loosing people) and it just depresses you and you become more introverted and its like a cycle and you feel like people dont like you any more and its just so goddamn hard.

you're probably like, "what sparked all this?". its just today someone said i was angry today when i wasnt. i was just sticking up for myself.  because not getting angry easily is one of the things i worked sooooooo hard to change and then everyone that knows me really well is like "yeah you do get angry. and you do seem angry alot. no offense tho, i <3 you" but then people that arent around me alot are like "no your pretty happy except when a few people are around. you just stick up for yourself" and im like "eehhhh" and its just. ugh.

or maybe the people who know me well are the only people i show how i really feel around. or maybe the people i know really well make me upset because things arent as perfect as i want them to be.

maybe its the fact that i've been working my ass off the past few weeks and im just tired.
i am SO tired. its like i got nine hours of sleep last night and im still exhausted. my whole entire life is so exhausting. everything is just moving and shifting and going and going and i need a break. just a week alone or something.

mannn i cant wait until spring break. seriiiiiously.